Tag Archive | Faith

Why Not Me?

We were sitting at the table with my Uncle George during our annual family picnic and he says “I miss my Sis.” He said during his last conversation with Mom before she passed he asked her “Sis, have you ever asked God “Why me?”” and she said to him “Why not me?” At that moment I was speechless. It was such a profound statement from such a profound woman. We will never know how and what Mom was feeling leading up to her transition but one thing we DO know is, that she accepted whatever God had in store for her.


How many times have you questioned God and asked why something was happening to you? Better yet, how many times have you thought that God was punishing you? I know I have. I used to think that God was mad at me. He was mad at me for not going to church, not praying, reading the Bible and tithing like I was supposed to. I was in a dark place, depressed and very unhappy for more than a year. I felt like God didn’t love me anymore. He had taken my Mother and other things away from me. I couldn’t see the light or find my way through. It was a dear friend of Mom’s who spoke new life into me. She reminded me that God didn’t DO anything to me, He didn’t take anything away. God was simply preparing me for a new harvest in my life. He will never take anything from you that won’t be replaced with something better. When I look back at the times I questioned God, I can hear Mom’s voice saying “Why not me?” and am reminded that God gives his battles to his strongest soldiers.  Those three words are an affirmation that I had to go through some heartaches, heart breaks, some losses, and tears to be able to appreciate God’s love for me. Right now I can appreciate my life, job, finances and relationships more. I can truly understand that all things happen in divine order according to God’s will. We are exactly where He wants us to be in our lives.


Learning to Grow in Faith

My mom loved to plant things. She had the most amazing green thumb I’d ever seen. Needless to say I wasn’t surprised to notice that the flowers she planted more than 4 years ago still bloom every spring/summer. It’s been 2 years since she passed. 

This flower symbolizes to me that no matter what happens during our troubled season, there’s always a better season to come. We have to learn to be faithful through the process.

 Ecclesiastes 3:2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.

2 Peter 3:18 ESV
But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.


Always There

In preparing for a Kentucky Derby themed party I was faced with the question every woman asks “What do I wear?” I did what most women do, I went to the mall. Checked out a couple of my favorite stores and found the perfect dress in The Limited. The next question I was “Where am I going to find a hat?” Most people know that my mom was the queen of hats and accessories. I didn’t consider her things because they aren’t necessarily my style. After looking around and texting friends I came up empty and disappointed. Once I got home and settled (to my mom’s house) something told me to look in the closet. Low and behold Mom had a hat that matched perfectly with my dress. A hat still in the plastic wrapping with the paper stuffed inside. I pulled out the hat and tried it on and it wasn’t too much or too little. It was just right. As I looked in the mirror I felt my mother’s presence. It almost seemed as my reflection were hers looking back at me. I laughed and said “Thanks mom for always being there.”
I am reminded of the life of Jesus Christ. He lived, taught, prayed, suffered and died. He left part of Himself here in the form of the Holy Spirit to intercede on our behalf. The Holy Spirit also comforts and reminds us of His love. Often times we don’t consider Him in the things we do but when we operate in the spirit, His presence is ALWAYS there and can ALWAYS be felt.
Thank you Mom for reminding me of how Christ operates in our lives when we are tuned into Him. Thank you for showing me what it means to have a close personal relationship with Christ. To ALWAYS know that He is ALWAYS there for us even when we aren’t there for ourselves.


Broke The Mold or Did He?


Not too long after Mom passed, I stepped out on faith and did something that I would never do. I entered a Model Call/Ambassador Call for a local organization called “Natural Girls Rock”. There were forty or more young women wanting to be part of this Natural Hair movement that taken over. I became one of the chosen few. With that being said, I want to take this time to thank Kelly and the Natural Girls Rock team for taking a chance on a grieving young lady who was simply trying to pick up the peaces of her life and put herself back together again. My Mom would be so proud and in love with the work that I have done with the organization. She was about community service, missionary work, teaching, inspiring, encouraging and love. That’s what Natural Girls Rock is about. What better way to honor her legacy by being apart of something that represented who she was? Most people don’t know, is when Mom first started feeling sick, long before we knew what was really wrong, I cut my hair. It represented newness, patience, it taught me what it really meant to be faithful and consistent and above all to honor my mom. Mom eventually lost her hair due to treatment but it didn’t define who she was. Needless to say I am attached to my hair because of the journey. It irritates me to hear people say “Oh it’s just hair.” because to me it’s not. It means more to me than anyone will ever possibly even care to know.

I was given the opportunity to do a photo shoot in September (nervously), a fashion show in which I walked in November(even more nervously) two days before my first birthday without my mom, and participate in other events that allowed me travel and to share my story and encourage others. Little did I know that my story, my journey and loss would inspire others. I have met some amazing women along the way, women who have continued to comfort and encourage me. (Thanks, ladies… you know who you are!) I have received so much love from people who I didn’t think paid much attention to me. Thse people saw my light, a light that I thought had dimmed the day my Mom passed.

What I have realized recently is that had Mom not put God in my in my life and had I not seen His light for myself through her I would NOT be the light that people have gravitated to. I never knew that encouraging others would encourage myself. “This little light of mine, I’m gone let it shine!” I don’t know where my light will take me or how many more lives it impacts but I go faithfully. He didn’t break the mold when He created Mom but I believe He left a lil bit for me.

“Believe it or not you’ve inspired me in many ways. Besides you’re ridiculously perfect fro, my spirit natural accepts you. You are very genuine . I admire your love for your mom and how you strive to overcome your loss. Your happiness comes through and brings joy to others. You da chic id see in a crowd and say I wanna hand out with her.” ~Shelya, FL~

“Thank you for being you! When I come to your Instagram page you make and brighten my day! You’re inspiration in every sense of the word.” ~Nacole, Fl~

Thanks http://www.naturalgirlsrock.com
Photographer: John Thomas (for natural girls rock)
Other pics were taken by me