It’s taken me a few months to gather myself, my thoughts and feelings together in order to begin to write again. Thank you for for all your prayers, words of encouragement and support.
A New Journey Begins… Life Without Mom
Most mornings I would call Mom on my way to work. Sometimes my sisters and I would do a three way call with her, it was our lil way of staying connected with one another. On days like this I yearn for that phone call, just to hear her voice and laughter.
The family has come together so much more since Mom’s passing. In trying to be strong for each other, we can’t help but feel the void. It was about a month ago that I found myself in my Mother’s room since her funeral. I stood there in disbelief as reality set in that she was really gone. That the past couple of months wasn’t a bad dream. I opened her closet door and was consumed by her scent. A scent that was so comforting to me every time that I was in her presence. Mom called me “Baby Girl” and in her closet, I felt every bit of a “baby” who was crying out for her Mommy. It wasn’t until I started to pull out her hats that I began to feel better.
Mom, left a lot of “things” behind but more importantly she left “life lessons”. She put all she had into her children and beyond. She loved each of us the way we needed to be loved, and gave us what we needed to be prepared for the world. If we weren’t all close to her, then it would probably be a lil easier to move forward. Being that she was such an important part of our lives, it’s hard to begin each day without her. When God called Mom home, I’m sure she felt comfortable in answering His call because she had did all she could for us here and left a legacy that she knew would be carried on.
I asked my eleven year old son Adreyn one day, not too long after she passed “What are some of your favorite memories of Memama?” (that’s what he called her) He looked at me and fought back his tears and told me “I don’t have a favorite, because they were all good memories.” Adreyn or “Baby Boy” (that’s what she called him) was the youngest of her grand children. He and Mom had a very special relationship. They would spend weekends together and every Monday morning before he returned home she would pray for him. This started maybe five years ago. He would sit in her lap and place her hands on his head and pray. It was so routine for him that he would go in her room or find her in the closet (a place she would often pray in) and climb into her chair and “assume the position” in which he would hold out his hands and tilt his head back and await the prayer.
Adreyn and my nephew Emanuel would take Mom to radiation last summer (2011) and when they returned home Adreyn would assume the position as Mom’s caregiver. I would call throughout the day to check on her. If she didn’t answer the phone my son did and gave me a full report on how she was doing. He said to me one day “Memama is sleeping. I just checked on her.” At the tender age of ten, he knew something was wrong and wanted to be there with and for her. It was because of what she put into him, that allowed him to have that compassion and concern for her well being. A legacy beyond me that will be carried on.
Mom’s life may have ended but her legacy, the life lessons she taught, the way she lived her life will be here forever in the lives of her family and friends. God planted the seed and Mom nurtured it, and what we do with it from here is up to us.