On Monday May 7, 2012, it will be one month since my Mother took her last breath. Needless to say, it has not been easy for us.
A week after Mom’s home-going service I had a dream about her… It had been and still is extremely hard for me to come to terms with her really being gone. Everyone is always saying “Oh, she’s with you in spirit.” but it’s not the same. People will never fully understand the relationship that Mom had with her children and grandchildren.
In the dream I was sitting in the living room waiting for her to come home. After sitting there for some time I got up and went up stairs towards her room. As I got closer to the top of the stairs I felt Moms presence. When I walked into her room and climbed into her bed (like I had done for many years), she rolled over and hugged me. I woke up in tears only to be reminded of the fact that she is really not here anymore.
After having a conversation with a good friend of mine she helped me put things in perspective… The dream was Moms way of letting me know that while she is NOT here physically she IS still in fact here and very much apart of my life. I wasn’t waiting for her, she was waiting for me. Once I went to where she was, she showed herself to me. She didn’t say anything, she comforted me. She knew the pain that I was feeling and she wanted me to be reminded of and surrounded by her love.
We’re taking it one day at a time and I’m not sure if each day has gotten better. I just know that there is a void in the lives of my siblings and I that may never be filled. God gave us a GREAT Mother and each day without her is a constant reminder of how GREAT she really was.